from this poem i have to pick one word that stuck out and write a paragraph about it
I snapped beans into the silver bowl
that sat on the splintering slats
of the porchswing between my grandma and me.
I was home for the weekend,
from school, from the North,
Grandma hummed “What A Friend We Have In Jesus”
as the sun rose, pushing its pink spikes
through the slant of cornstalks,
through the fly-eyed mesh of the screen.
We didn’t speak until the sun overcame
the feathered tips of the cornfield
and Grandma stopped humming. I could feel
the soft gray of her stare
against the side of my face
when she asked,
How’s school a
-goin?
I wanted to tell her about my classes,
the revelations by book and lecture
as real as any shout of faith,
potent as a swig of strychnine.
She reached the leather of her hand
over the bowl and cupped
my quivering chin;
the slick smooth of her palm held my face
the way she held cherry tomatoes under the spigot,
careful not to drop them,
and I wanted to tell her
about the nights I cried into the familiar
heartsick panels of the quilt she made me,
wishing myself home on the evening star.
I wanted to tell her
30
the evening star was a planet,
that my friends wore noserings and wrote poetry
about sex, about alcoholism, about Buddha.
I wanted to tell her
34
how my stomach burned acidic holes
35
at the thought of speaking in class,
36
speaking in an accent, speaking out of turn,
37
how I was tearing, splitting myself apart
38
with the slow-simmering guilt of being happy
39
despite it all.
40
I said,
School’s fine.
41
We snapped beans into the silver bowl between us
42
and when a hickory leaf, still summer green,
43
skidded onto the porchfront,
Grandma said,
It’s funny how things blow loose like